Six Sentence Sunday - 12/25

It is Saturday night and my eyes are full of tears as I throw open the wooden doors to the Sunset Deck at the rear of the steamship. Sunset is a misnomer, because tonight the sun is setting over the forward deck at the opposite end of the ship. The rest of the passengers are gathered there to watch so I’m confident that this is the one place I can go to have a good, undisturbed cry.

I fling myself at the railing and let the tears fall overboard. At dinner Alan had once again been oblivious to my desperate attempts at flirting, and I'm so lost in my anguish over him that I don’t notice the small boy standing next to me until he speaks.

“Why are you crying?” he asks.

- excerpt from The Sunset Deck, a short story

 The sentence that begins "At dinner" has me very confused due to the mixture of past and present tense, but I think it's right. I don't have a lot of experience writing in present tense, but I believe this story requires it. If anyone with better grammar experience has an opinion on whether it is correct or not, please let me know!

Read more about Six Sentence Sunday here. To see the rest of my Six Sentence Sunday posts, click here.

Six Sentence Sunday - 12/11

Set up: Geek Timothy "Oggy" Ogden is excited to meet actor Zac Furie at a sci-fi convention. But his excitement turns to mortification when Zac treats him rudely, writes "Froggy" instead of "Oggy" when signing a head shot, and charges twenty dollars more than listed for the autographed photo - twenty dollars that Oggy tells Zac he doesn't have.

“I’ll just hang on to this until the next ‘Froggy’ comes along, shall I?” Zac said.

Zac's lackey snickered and a few people in line joined in. Oggy’s neck turned red; the color travelled up his face, past his cheeks and stopped at his ears. An announcement came over the loudspeaker: “Dealer’s room closes in five minutes.”

Oggy gritted his teeth. “I don’t have the money. What do you want me to do?”

- excerpt from ZOMG, or Zombies, Oh My God!

Read more about Six Sentence Sunday here. To see the rest of my Six Sentence Sunday posts, click here.

Six Sentence Sunday - 12/04

Speaking of avoiding people…Nan stepped off of the sidewalk and in to the road to let Ruth McAllister pass. The woman had never grasped the fact that sidewalks were supposed to be shared. She walked straight down the middle, her Bichon Frise, Bambi, strapped to her chest in a Baby Bjorn. Nan nodded hello to Ruth and swallowed the giggle that rose whenever she saw Bambi’s head lolling side to side in the carrier. Would it be so wrong to let the poor dog down to get some exercise every now and then? She understood that people could be crazy about their pets, but there was no way she’d ever strap her cat Aggie in to a baby sling - not that Aggie would let her do it, anyway.

- Untitled Snowbird Mystery

Six Sentence Sunday is a blog meme where authors post a six sentence excerpt from one of their works every Sunday. I ran across it on Suzanne Johnson's Peternatura blog and liked the idea. I'm not "officially" participating (i.e. trying to get my link on Six Sentence Sunday's blog) because there are a lot of rules and they confuse me, but I will be posting six sentences every Sunday through at least the end of December. I think it'll be a fun thing to do and will make up for the fact that I won't have much writing stuff to post about, thanks to all the craft projects, travel, and family visits that I will be busy with during the holidays.

Today's excerpt is from a 4000-word cozy mystery short featuring Nan and her husband Charlie. They are snowbirds - retirees from northern states who "fly" south for the winter. In this story, Nan hunts down a thief who has stolen several thousand dollars from a Cow Pie Bingo charity fundraiser.

Reading back over the story to find these six sentences, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was better than I remembered. With a little bit of editing, I think it'll be ready to share with my beta readers. I love the idea of a snowbird detective - the constant moving provides lots of opportunities for new locations and people - and I would love to have Nan star in further stories, assuming I can come up with some good mysteries for her to solve.

I Meet the Little Belgian Detective - 100 Word Short Story

I have a run-in with my favorite fictional character, Hercule Poirot.

Me: "Help! Help!"
HP: "May I be of some assistance, madam?"
Me: "That man stole my purse!"
HP: I see. Well do not trouble your pretty little face. Hercule Poirot will use his little grey cells to track down the thief!"
Me: "We don't need to use your little grey cells, because that's him right there! The man running with a ladies purse!"
HP: "Mon dieu, then we should catch this villain!"
Me: "Hurry, he's getting away!"
HP: "..."
Me: "Aren't you going after him?"
HP: "..."
Me: "Right, sorry I asked. Could you hold my shoes? I can't run in heels."
HP: "Certainement! Anything for you, dear lady!
Me: *Eyeroll*

***

Writer's Digest Writing Prompt:

Meet Your Favorite Fictional Character

"You and I" - A 250 Word Short Story

Music is playing in the darkness. We stop to listen. “Where’s it coming from?” I ask. We’ve taken our moonlight walks on this same path for years but have never before heard music.

“That way,” you say, pointing in to the woods. You take a step in that direction but I hesitate.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I am imagining all the dark and scary things that the woods can hide.

“Listen closer.”

I close my eyes and concentrate. A few seconds later they fly open again. “That’s our song,” I say, grinning like a fool. You offer your hand. I take it and we race through the darkness, tripping on roots and stumbling over dead branches but somehow never falling. As we get close I can make out a clearing, lit up by a lantern floating between two trees. We step in to its light to find an elegantly laid table with champagne and dessert, and a stereo nearby with our song on repeat.

“Happy anniversary,” you say, holding me close.

“It’s amazing. I can’t believe it! How could you do all this without me knowing? How did you get a table out in the middle of the woods? Did you have help?” I look around.

“No more questions,” you say, gently turning my face towards yours. “It’s just you and I.” We kiss and I lay my head on your chest as we sway to the music that floats softly by.

***

The prompt for this was to write a story that begins with the first line of my favorite song, which is currently "You and I" by Queen. I expanded on the prompt by also incorporating some of the imagery from the lyrics as well as the last line. You can listen to the song below.